February is a month of love. Valentine’s Day is smack in the middle of this month. Some argue this particular holiday is nothing but a marketing ploy by chocolate producers, rose growers and card manufacturers.
These people have little use for the day, and I would generally agree. However, it isn’t because I am at odds with the impetus behind the holiday. Rather, I feel a person shouldn’t use a single day each year as a crutch to actually show his love for those near and dear to him. One should show his love for others every day in ways that don’t inherently involved flowers or chocolates.
That being said, I am actually looking forward to Valentine’s Day this year. It marks a milestone for me. It will be the first Valentine’s Day I have experienced as a married man having married my wife and Wichita Family essayist Kendall Vogts this past July.
But even that isn’t the true reason I am looking forward to this time of the year. It was the day before Valentine’s Day last year when I got engaged.
I did so on purpose. I thought it would be too cliche to do it on Valentine’s Day, and I did it when she and I were alone. To me, that made it more special. In my mind, it showed I wasn’t asking to prove anything to anyone other than her, and I was proving my love for her by making a commitment to be with her for the rest of our lives.
The fun part for me was that particular day, Feb. 13, 2015, was a Friday.
Yes. I got engaged on Friday the 13th. That’s hilarious to me due to the juxtaposition of the bad connotations of Friday the 13th and the expression of love behind a marriage proposal.
Besides, it was the perfect day to do it. It truly fit our relationship. We both are quirky.
Besides both of us being a little different, we also mesh perfectly in numerous other areas of life — a love for reading, suspense and crime dramas (seriously, you need to watch “How To Get Away With Murder” on ABC . . . we love it; it’s on Netflix if you are interested in checking it out), golf, writing, music and so much more.
It is the love for music which comes to mind today. Neither of us play an instrument, though I could still play taps on my trumpet if called upon to do so. Rather, we both love listening to music, and the genre is inconsequential. We just love music.
This has been particularly important in our married life as on the weekends I am a mobile disc jockey. This is a business I have ran since I graduated high school, and Kendall embraced it. My brother helps me, and Kendall is now an official part of the business. She travels to nearly all the gigs with us, and when my brother can’t be there, she steps up and helps me do it all, including carrying the equipment.
Then, once the show begins, she is out on the floor dancing and helping me ensure everyone at the event is having a good time, even if that means making a fool of ourselves in order to make a shy person feel OK about getting up to move and groove to the music.
Everytime she takes part in our djing business, I see it as an act of love. I so appreciate her willingness to join in. It speaks volumes to me.
I feel that is part of any relationship. The small acts of love and understanding are so important. It isn’t about constantly showering a person with gifts. It’s about doing little things to show you care.
Every time we dj, read, watch our favorite television show or simply listen to music together while driving around, I feel closer to her.
I don’t need gifts from her. I just need her time and understanding.
So this Valentine’s Day, don’t stress about ordering a dozen roses, buying the biggest box of chocolates or picking out the perfect card.
Give the gift of your time and understanding. Make your significant other supper, read your favorite book together or cuddle on the couch while watching a great show on Netflix.
Or maybe just go for a drive together and listen to your favorite music.